Friday, May 6, 2011

will it still be a while? not the wedding at least

Well it has been quite a long time since I have been regularly active on this thing.  Seminary has sucked the life out of me this past year, seriously.  I spent most weeks exhausted from reading.
Hopefully, though, at least for summer, I'll be able to post more thoughts up here.  I miss just writing with no particular thesis to prove; it's freeing and pointless, sometimes I need that.

The event that looms large in my mind is a particular wedding. No! not the royal wedding, MY wedding.  I'm excited and I think, after 11 months of engagement it's starting to finally hit that I am getting married.  Like I am going to be a husband.  Woe be unto this unfortunate bride! 


I wonder what it will be like.  I think we get along quiet well now, but I know that we are both rather stubborn and can be contentious at times; I also know that we have rarely spent more than a week together for 3 years.  Most often it has been long weekends or riding telephone lines; this all adds to the dynamic of the unknown.  I really don't have the slightest clue what to expect and as well as I know her and myself, and as well as she knows me you'd at least think that I might have a clue. (Personally, I think how she's feeling, whether consciously or subconsciously, matters more than anything I do)

So marriage has an aura of mystery surrounding it, as does the wedding.  Honestly, I kind of just want the wedding to fall together now, it is getting there, it's just not there yet.  I hate micromanaging more than anything; I prefer to be an idea/vision type of guy and not one who has to make it work by dealing with the details.  Unfortunately we're at that micromanaging part of the wedding: songs, procession of events, rehearsal, who does what when, details details, etc.  I liked picking out the ideas, I don't particularly enjoy making ideas work... maybe I'm just lazy?
But for the wedding at least I know what to expect.
I just have this thing about going into the unknown, of which I have mentioned many times prior.  However, this unknown does not scare me in the least.  I don't think I have ever been more excited to be in a position to go into something unknown.  It will most definitely be sanctifying, and if you know me well enough you know I need it!

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