Friday, December 16, 2011

the power of the symbol

Finally!  After too long of a hiatus I actually have something worthwhile to write!  It's nice to feel the liberating power of Christmas break, but anyway...


Symbols are a powerful thing... almost too powerful.  The fact that they are so powerful is interesting, because in reality they are nothing.  Their power resides merely in social agreement.  They have the power to direct, condescend, aid in transcendence, etc.

Think of it, we get angry when someone speaks a vulgar word, or expresses a vulgar gesture.
An A+ on a paper/test is highly regarded whether or not any of the information is retained afterwards.
A diamond is a highly valued gem that is, though rare, merely a crystalline construct of tetrahedral carbon atoms.
A large bicep is understood as strength... i.e. Arm and Hammer.  Likewise, fashion.  Who makes up the laws of fashion?  Are there really any rules that make any sense beyond our social setting's unspoken code of conduct?

Friday, December 9, 2011

what it feels like to die... or just finals week

I've been busy since I've returned from Thanksgiving, and it's not about to let up!  This is not the most enjoyable time of the year, but for whatever reason it seems to be much more busy than last year, or even last May.  Perhaps because I had one or two less exams for those semesters, and perhaps it's also because I wasn't married.  Perhaps it's also because I have an internship that requires much more involvement, and I allow it to involve more of me.

Friday, December 2, 2011

two weeks and nothing

So I know I want to post every Friday...

But it's just not working out these past two weeks.  I suppose that whats end of semester burn out does, cause my brain is fried.  I could write a post... but I'm going to err on the side of not doing so, because I still have a paper due in 4 days that I have not even begun to start on and I have plenty of work to do for my ordination process.  So that's my excuse for this week.

Oh.

And Thanksgiving, you're not supposed to do anything the day after Thanksgiving, except go shopping.  Since I didn't go shopping, I sat around eating leftovers and hanging out with family.  It was nice.  That's my excuse for last week.

I would encourage you to read my other blogs though, here's a personal favorite: Lady Gaga:1 Christians:0

Also, here's some interesting facts and some more facts on the upcoming SEC Championship game.  For those of who who could careless about the Bulldogs, Tigers or football... you can disregard.


Oh and GO DAWGS!!!

Friday, November 18, 2011

grace unlocked

I used to have a problem with grace.
Not the southern genteel type grace... Although, I'm sure I know a few people who think I have a problem with that now.
The grace I had a problem with was specifically with that of forgiveness in God through Jesus; however, the issue revealed itself elsewhere as well, such as being given to generously in some form or another.
My problem was, and at times still is now, that I'd much rather have reciprocity.

Friday, November 4, 2011

stupid Jesus

This quote resonated with me:

"I had stopped saying the word “Jesus.”  95% of the time, I only spoke of “God.”  Or if I had to speak of him, I referred to God the Son, the second Person of the Trinity, the Logos…names that sounded intellectual and sophisticated.  If I had to speak of the Son incarnate, then I spoke of Christ, or the God-man.  Never Jesus Christ, and certainly never just Jesus.  Loving Jesus, following Jesus, seeking Jesus — these were the province of fundamentalists, Bible thumpers, Jesus Freaks, crude Christians who wore WWJD bracelets and listened to Michael W. Smith and read Max Lucado instead of Jurgen Moltmann."
If you want you can read the whole blog whole blog here.

Oddly enough, but not really, I have had a similar experience.

the monument vs. the mission

My desire as it stands now is to be the pastor of a church.  Considering that that church will probably be a United Methodist church, that is if the conference accepts me, will make for an interesting pastorate.  The United Methodist Church is not unique, and I know the problems that it is experiencing are hardly unknown elsewhere.  However, the challenge will be unique for a guy like me who doesn't hold allegiance to any particular faction within the church, and the allegiances I do hold are to dead guys or ideas and ideals.  It will also be unique because I have experienced church outside of the Methodist church and know that not only is it not all that bad, it is in fact quite desirable. 

This creates a problem.

Friday, October 28, 2011

in the Middle.

When I was in high school, Jimmy Eat World released a song, "The Middle", two things about the song... it was, and still is, very good and it was one of those songs a high schooler could connect to... because you know they're all the same, and you're very different.
The concept jump back into my head recently.  Because it's weird being in the middle.  Home becomes very empty because it seems like there's only a few in the middle and it's intimidating trying to find those few in the middle without having to put some of your self on the line.
Here's the song by the way, because if you're anything like me once you get a song in your head you just have to listen to it: Jimmy Eat World "The Middle"

I can think of three areas in my life where I feel like I am predominantly in the middle. Identity, politics, theology.

Friday, October 21, 2011

really just a few thoughts...

Thought Number 2:
I had this idea of being a renaissance man.  Kind of like da Vinci. Yet, the more I looked at the idea, the more  I saw it as unfeasible... that is unless I never stopped education.  I don't mean simply lifelong learning, I mean like paying to be taught and when I say never, I mean never.
Da Vinci had it "easy" the different areas of learning weren't nearly as stratified as now.

Friday, October 14, 2011

emasculated

Ever since entering seminary I've felt, for whatever reason, that I am incapable of doing what I desire to do.  Be it preaching, ministering, exegeting, etc.  It's not that I can't do it, I actually can do so quite well in situation where I feel comfortable, specifically among friends or in my evangelism class.  It's when I get in those situations that I'm not comfortable that I just don't feel like I should share my opinion.

Friday, October 7, 2011

and you were like... where'd he go?

I'll admit this semester has hit me like a sack of bricks... I was totally unprepared for it.  It is just a wee bit different having the semester work to take care of all the while tending to a young marriage.  I haven't really had much to think about other than that. Though, that's not the reason for lack of blogging, it is just the sheer volume of reading and work needing to be done. 

I've thought about where to go with this, either to express what I feel going forward or to express how I've felt about the past year.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

So I saw The Adjustment Bureau...

Alison and I watched The Adjustment Bureau on Sunday afternoon.  It was a good decision, because it was an enjoyable movie and if we hadn't watched it we would have probably worked around the house and not rested... because there's nothing else to do, except for be on Facebook.
As enjoyable as the movie was, though, it kind of annoyed me, but only because I actually thought about it.... it's not as if there was any sort of glaring annoyance, it was just the theological undertones of the whole movie, which weren't veiled in the least... except calling God the "Chairman" and angels "agents" (if you want to call that veiling).  Well, the one thing that was sort of a glaring annoyance was the cheesy explanation of how agents were able to use doors as portals.

If you haven't seen the movie I hope I don't ruin it for you, but I'm not going to reveal much in the way of the plot... so no worries.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

ideologue identity and I

I just thought this too funny to not put on here.
I'm not particularly sure what has inspired this thought process as of late, be it the current debt ceiling fracas or something streaming from my prior post...  I suppose it would be the former at first, and then my ruminating on it that drew connections to the latter.  Of course, none of that matters, really.

I'm like most Americans, I think.  This whole political brinkmanship, infighting and partisanship has bugged me since I actually started paying attention in undergrad.  I suppose its no surprise that its come to this, I have a few friends who are hard-line and unforgiving in their ideology (or should I say dogma) on both ends of the spectrum.  I hate talking politics with them, you can guess why... there is no room for them being wrong, not even in the slightest. They are ideologues.

I'm no foreigner to the mindset of an ideologue.  I think I expressed the fact, even though never clearly stated, that I myself was an ideologue in several areas at one time.  I have since grown out of that; at least I don't think I'm still an unforgiving, dogmatic to a fault ideologue.  I am an idealist, yes, but I have been tempered by reality.  (What does that make me an idealist realist, or a realist idealist?).  Which means I know that I very well could be wrong in many things; I need only experience or reasoning far more sound (not louder) than mine to prove it, as has been proved in the past.  OK, I guess I still can be an unforgiving jerk, but that's only because some people's reasoning is faulty... but does that make a a jerk or an ideologue?  ...it's a rhetorical question, don't answer it.

Even still its difficult not to be an ideologue.  We are all informed by ideals and, thus, an ideology.  Even the apathetic are set on the ideal of apathy.  And I find that my main qualm is with ideologues in the arena of theology/philosophy and politics...

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

i'm a cynic and a skeptic

It's true.  I have increasingly become more and more cynical and I hate it.
It's because I am, at the same time, an idealist; this is an odd balance, I know.

To be honest I find it extremely frustrating, and I know I'm not the only one, thankfully.  Recently, at my wedding, I was having a conversation with one of my groomsmen who had just graduated from grad school, essentially a seminary, with a degree in counseling.  He said that he has increasingly become, like myself, a cynic, and also like me, hates it.  It's a very frustrating view to have on life, the world and everyone you know.  And yet, neither he or I can seem to fight it.
It seems like a loss of innocence or naivete, but I wouldn't call it that; I think it is more so the loss of ignorance and the frustrations that come when finite hopes become infinitely impossible to realize.  I do still have hope, but I know that, in all likelihood, they will remain only hope and never become a reality.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

organic and cruelty free: God help me.

I wrote a blog post sometime ago on a book I had to read for my Old Testament class, and I'm not going to lie it changed my life... Well let me rephrase that, it continued the process of change that the love of my life started.  This way my wife gets all of the credit and I score points with her!

You can view that blog post here: christians should be organic and further thoughts on it here: further thoughts on agrarian

The process has been quite a challenging one.  It's just a preference for me that I want simply because it sounds nice... its far more theological for me, I guess you could say its more of a conviction that I think I, as Christian, should eat organic.  It's more than just nicer and cleaner, it's also more "right."  That is, I think Scripture points towards a more ethical, not economic, treatment of the earth and Creation.  (notice the globe... it means my view is holistic and cares for the earth... you know, typical)

Friday, July 15, 2011

pandora... its not a box

Unless it's a jukebox.

I love Pandora.
Like love love Pandora.
If I was in high school it'd be that girl that I didn't just like, but like really liked (that whole you like her like her); though, I would never have the guts to ask out, because she is just waayyy too hot for me.  Incidentally, that's pretty much how high school was come to think of it...

Anyways, I have a station that is custom tailored to me, which of course is the beauty of Pandora.  It was inspired by Paul Simon, The Weepies and Vampire Weekend. 

Yeah I know... it's the most odd conglomeration of musical interests, but that's why its great!  It's not just one type of music, it moves from old folksy and rock stuff, to acoustic stuff , to whatever Vampire Weekend is, to euro electronic rock?, to new folk stuff and acoustic blues stuff.  Oh its great... you have no idea!  I also have seeds (meaning something that it pulls from to come up with a song to play) for African music too.... so its pretty amazing.

Some of the artists that come up who I super enjoy are
Phoenix, specifically stuff from their album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Temper Trap
Regina Spektor
MGMT
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes
Derby
Gene Dante and the Future Scarlet
Oh and of course Mumford and Sons, I'm not gonna disguise it at all, they are absolutely my favorite artists right now.  Their album Sigh No More is, in my opinion, the most amazing album in the last 20 years...
Ok I am caught up in the moment...  It is right now, however, the album that I keep on repeat.  Their songs, aside from being awesome, good ole, foot-stompin' acoustic stuff have a transcendental quality to it.  The lyrics just capture something higher above me and deeper within me; lets just say I identify with them...

There are also numerous others musicians that I enjoy... like a lot so I won't go into listing all of them.


No huge thought for today... "Thank God," I'm sure many people are thinking.  Just thought I'd fill in on my musical interests of the moment!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

God is like fireworks and vice versa

My mother says I think too much and too indepth about things.
Perhaps.

But it's hard not to. 
I can't help but see beyond, be they outcomes or allegories, the thing which is presently at hand... whatever that may be.  I am simply under the impression that there is always something more to everything; what I have right now points to something else and, as such, is somehow revelatory of something more.
For instance, a snide comment to my wife is not merely an isolated, rude remark.  Its much bigger than that and, by knowing that, I am actually able to peer inside myself, able to know from what corner of my heart such a remark originates; perhaps then I can better know the motives of my heart that would form such a remark.  Like wise, I see also in the possible future if such basal actions and instincts are not dealt with and to me it doesn't look pretty.

So having such an internal process... God and fireworks.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

New York and The Church of England

What do those two things have in common?
Honestly, the only thing I know of right now is they have both been in the news lately on issues relating to gays.
You can read about it here:
Rowan Williams Backs Gay Bishops
and here:
New law clears way for gay marriage in New York
of the two I'm sure the one most widely known is the latter.
Gay marriage is one of those issues that I think have been wrestling with since college.  Mainly because in the 2000 and 2004 elections the Republicans (or at least this is how I feel) made it in issue in order to mobilize the Religious Right to vote and keep Bush in office.  I've gone through two phases I would say... one is the theological aspect, the other is the political aspect.  I would say that now after, at least, 7 years of wrestling with the issue, I have come to some conclusions.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Lady Gaga: 1 Christians: 0

I read this article:
Lady Gaga and Self Acceptance

It struck a chord in me.  I mean here is a good way to view and love others; the whole "little monsters" thing is part gimmicky, but more so its very much a reality.
Lady Gaga has not only picked up on the monster part, but also the acceptance part.
Both I think Christians have gotten seriously wrong.

Friday, June 24, 2011

modus operandi

I've been married for not even two weeks and, while I probably had inklings of this, it has become already prominent that Alison and I have two different modes of operating.  She seeks finality, whereas I seek comprehension.  I must add that I honestly had no idea what a good picture to go with this post would be, so I figured that the best option would be a cute kitten.  (Because nothing beats cute kittens)




Friday, May 27, 2011

hope and fear



I'll admit I am very scared right now and worried.  This is a guy that not only did I spend a whole summer with but shared a room with along with 2 other guys at Myrtle Beach during my heydays in campus ministry.  Of all the summers in college, I'm not gonna lie, that one was probably my most favorite.  Due in no small part to him, of course there was also Springer and Ryan and that was a unique situation in itself.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

its been a while... again

You know I thought that once this whole semester thing was over I'd be blogging more again.  Then I started working 4 days a week and painting a house when I got home.
I realized it's just way easier to post stati on facebook and watch TV.  Blogging requires actually putting my mind to work. Haha, I guess I am just really lazy.
Anyways, what I've been wanting to say for a while is...

Friday, May 6, 2011

will it still be a while? not the wedding at least

Well it has been quite a long time since I have been regularly active on this thing.  Seminary has sucked the life out of me this past year, seriously.  I spent most weeks exhausted from reading.
Hopefully, though, at least for summer, I'll be able to post more thoughts up here.  I miss just writing with no particular thesis to prove; it's freeing and pointless, sometimes I need that.

The event that looms large in my mind is a particular wedding. No! not the royal wedding, MY wedding.  I'm excited and I think, after 11 months of engagement it's starting to finally hit that I am getting married.  Like I am going to be a husband.  Woe be unto this unfortunate bride! 

Monday, May 2, 2011

love. Osama.

I’ll admit that, as of late, I am confused by those around me who are confused over whether or not they should be joyful over the death of Osama bin Laden or remorseful. 

First I’d like to point out that in being remorseful one is saying that it is better for a man to live on encouraging actions of ungodly hate.
Second I feel like such a view is pushing beyond Christians' call to love.  It is through Christ we are able to fully love God as well as fully love man.  However, when something happens, such as killing Osama, are we to mourn over it?  We are saying that what has happened should not have happened; that is saying what is better for the world is another type of world.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

getting what i paid for

I like to get what I'm paying for, in fact I expect it and hold myself to it.

Example 1:
My car.  It cost me 3000 bucks... trust me I am getting what I paid for.  It's not the greatest car in the world, well lets say it sucks.  I bought it out of necessity and I think I actually over paid, but supply and demand baby.  The radio volume control doesn't work and so it's stuck at a level unhearable at interstate cruising speeds.  I also am scared to death to run the AC because I just don't think the battery could handle the load when I'm not going 75 mph.  Its frustrating of course, but I am getting what I paid for.

Friday, March 18, 2011

a bit of distance...

There's one thing I don't necessarily enjoy about what I'm experiencing at seminary: I feel I have become almost over intellectualized; I see things in a very intellectual way, in very theological ways.  It's good, but its nothing like what I experienced when I was in Greensboro.

In Greensboro there was a certain limit to it, mainly because I simply didn't have the time for it, nor was I given the direction.  I had other things to accomplish and better pursuits to go after.  I feel as if I was more connected to my humanness, where as now I feel connected to a sort of transcendence.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

below par...

I'm a terrible writer.
Well, at least as it stands I'm a terrible writer; that's what Candler has shown me at least.  I think it's reflected in a lot of my posts on here as well.  The common critique that I get on tests and papers in class is my lack of ability to write cohesively.  I can structure an argument fairly well, at least when I spend time trying to develop it.  I can argue for it well also, but what I cannot do is make it sound fluid or pretty, which then actually makes it seems as if I can't argue for it.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Reading of Scripture and Love Wins

So having a friend who went to Rob Bell's church, I myself liking Rob Bell, being a Christian, being in seminary and being rather familiar with the conservative, evangelicalsI have been not far from the debate about Rob Bell's new book Love Wins.
Personally, I'm not much concerned about what he is saying right now; he has a new book coming out, which is sold by a publisher, a big one at that; publishers have to make money and so they hire marketing firms.  If I were a marketing firm and I wanted to sell a book... I'd make controversy or get good reviews.  Well, in the Christian world good reviews sell well, especially the classics, but nothing sells like an out in the open theological controversy; therefore, if I were a marketer I would make a controversy and props to HarperOne cause that's what they got and I guarantee you that everyone will either buy the book or borrow it; I mean they practically have to now if they care anything about the debate that is now in the public sphere.

Monday, February 21, 2011

sometimes hobbies gotta die

One thing that I have realized lately is that I'm too busy.  I will refrain from taking more than 12 hours a semester all at once from now on.  I will get a August and January term in and then have 12 hours for the semester so I can get my 15/semester total.  Of course I have not withdrawn from my classes now; call me stubborn or call me stupid and I'd agree.
The other thing I realized... sometimes your hobby just gotta die.  It's blogging and working out for me, for instance.  Because I am just so busy, I can't handle, much less think about, spending time doing things other than studying all week and spending time with Alison on the weekend. Were I single I would just have a free weekend.  It's all about getting priorities straight, what are the essentials and what are the nonessentials?

It hurts too, I love blogging; I literally have a list of 5 thoughts/ideas, that I want to work through on this blog and that's been adding up since the first day of class, and I really wanna work out, ya know for the honeymoon... and well I think that's enough justification in itself, but I would also like to be healthy as well.  It makes me wonder what next semester will look like when not only will classes are essential, but so is my wife.  I certainly hope I don't cut into either of those.  I think I'd much rather lose sleeping and eating...

But I guess this is my thought for now...  I am gonna start studying for my Old Testament class.
If you want some good musings I myself have a personal fondness for www.donmilleris.com and www.qideas.org

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I'm still here!

Wow, so talk about a busy, busy semester.  I don't think, at least I hope, that I'll ever be this exhausted and swamped when I actually have a church, but I am thinking that that is just wishful thinking.
I have a job now, which is nice.  I am also taking 15 credit hours, which is a ton.  You might think its just 15, but I don't think I've had to read and write so much in my life.  I also actually have a group of friends I hang out with on a regular basis now whilst on campus.  And that's probably the nicest thing; when I first got here in August I was glum about not having anyone to hang out with and living so far away from campus only compounded that fact.  But since late October, or November, I've had a group of people whom I enjoy.  I will say, also, that I am glad that I live a far away from campus as I do.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

fear cubed

I guess this might be a final thought on fear… but who knows; at least it’s the final one thus far.

Why am I not fearful about more things?  I mean I know what I am scared of and have admitted as such to myself and I also know what I am scared of and have not admitted to myself, but what really has got me at the moment is: why am I not fearful of these things that  I should be fearful of?
 I won’t get into the details of what those things should be.

fear good

So I am scared of my future, it’s really no big deal. 
In fact, I’m glad to say that I am, at least I’m a realist.  I don’t think we are honest enough with fear.  It’s like we want to cover it up, as if it’s bad.  There seems to be something wrong with crying out and admitting to fear.  We really are a bunch of liars; we go around showing strength and fortitude, and yet we are crying for answers and certainty. 

For my Old Testament class we have to read all of the Psalms.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

i don't wanna farm

I'm scared I might be a seeder/seed planter.
That is I'm scared that in my ministry career I am meant to be one who goes out and sows the message and truth of the gospel, that I go out and teach.  There is of course nothing wrong with that, but I am scared that that is all it is meant to be.  I'll be honest, I'd much rather reap what others have sowed; I like harvesting, its "easy" and fun.
Jesus was a seed sower...

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

my doctrine on doctrine

Doctrine is great, it’s a great way to put theological beliefs and statements into memorable, "carry-on" formats.  The Apostles’ Creed, Nicene Creed, Westminster Catechism, etc. all take big theological systems and put them into a simpler format.  Which is a great thing for the church and the church people, it allows non-clergy to better know their own theology without having to have studied it for several years, and it allows the clergy to better teach it without teaching it for years.  In this way it is fantastic.

Of course with this, and like many other things, I also have my disagreements with how it is used.

cold turkey ain't good turkey

One of the things that I am really against is cold turkey evangelism.  I’ve done enough times to know that I don’t like it.  Of course the argument for it is that you do it with the trust that God will somehow use it for his purposes.  I agree with that, and when I do evangelize I am taking that to heart.

My problem is that it is simply a bad way to evangelize.  It is wrought of love.  Now of course I know that even taking the time to tell them about the Lordship of Christ is loving for me to do, but honestly how loved do they feel?  If all I do is come up and share the gospel with them and then leave them at that what love would they feel?  Would they feel loved that I took the time to come up to them to talk to them about Jesus?  Maybe… if they were already Christian, but if they don’t know Christ yet then what?  If it’s without some sort of continuing relationship what love is really given?  

Loving should go hand in hand with suffering, and there is no suffering in cold turkey evangelism, there is persecution, but not the long suffering that Christ experienced.  He spent 3 years with his disciples only to die without them "getting it" until he rose.  That’s suffering, that expending yourself and not seeing any fruit.  This is the sort of suffering that relational evangelism brings, not cold turkey.  We should expect, and desire, to spend time with people, watch them sin, and never get it.  We should expect them to deny Christ, turn away, make grandiose statements about his divinity and then in the next second be against Christ’s work.  That suffering is much worse than merely being spat upon, that suffering breaks hearts.


I’d be willing to say that that is the model of evangelism that is set up for us.  The gospel isn’t about getting people to convert, it’s about the Lordship of Christ enabling us to truly love and serve God, and, if we are doing that faithfully, conversion will happen whether we want it to or not.  Just going out and throwing out the Word randomly is bad stewardship to.  A farmer sure as heck doesn’t just randomly scatter seed, he does it with purpose and intent, some may fall on the path, but he is sowing seed in the field where he will be sure to tend to it. 
We do have to proclaim it, but it’s different proclaiming a Messiah to people who are looking for one than to people who think they are their own Messiah. And if we are to proclaim it, it should be in the community that we live amongst, that we will be around daily or weekly, not to random people on the beach or a street that we probably will never see again.

Friday, January 7, 2011

When nothing energizes

So a thought crossed my mind upon reading a friend of mine's blog.
Meaninglessness in life.  For the existentialist this is of course to be expected, but for someone with religion, faith or what have you, it is unexpected, and the hardest part is dealing with it.  Often times I know I have felt this way.  My thought process is this:  "OK, I have a problem; I feel little.  I need to fix the problem; I need more faith because if I had faith I wouldn't feel this 'lessness'.  I need to feed my faith by going to that which I know that feeds it (in my case Christian Scripture)."
I'm won't lie, sometimes, most times, it just does not work.  I am seeking joy, fulfillment, experience and I must admit Scripture doesn't really give that.  But, it does give me eyes to see it and know it.  However, in these times I feel listless and need to be able to see why is it that when I go Scripture to be inspired I don't find it working?  I'll admit there is one reason that it doesn't work: legalism.  I am only doing it to try and make some magic happen.  The other times I don't know, but I think a fair assessment would be that its not that I need to have my eyes opened but that I need to be in a place to be able to use them.  Often times this past semester I got incredibly bogged down in school; talk about lifeless, studying and learning, and as much as I absolutely love it, it just gets monotonous, without any reprieve. Then the time of the week comes where I am exhausted and drained, and I have to go to my internship at the retirement community.  Let me tell you, there is nothing more lame than having to go to an internship when you have absolutely no desire to.

But then again, for whatever reason its rejuvenating.  I'll admit at times it was hard this past semester, trying to get up the energy to go out and love people, but the right mindset is when I need.  My mindset when it works is selfless and serving, thinking about the small things I am doing, because they are small things, to further the work of the chaplain ministry of the community; when its hard its being worried about if these small things amount to anything and if its just a big waste of my time.  I wonder, though, what will it be like when I am doing ministry full-time?  The main question is how can I find joy when I get bogged down in the things find joy in, like learning, theology and ministry?  Right now I find it by getting out of what I get bogged down in and getting into a place to give myself away, to serve and love, and even though I am completely and totally drained at times, giving myself to serve people seems to give me life and energy.  That's something that I want to do just as much now as when I am older.  Its something I want to do with Alison when we are married, something to do together with my kids when we have them.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

America the Beautiful and the Despicable

I love America, or I should say the idea of America.
This idea is prevalent everywhere in our republic and its what I love.  The Bill of Rights is a great example of this,  and America's global greatness is a testament to how well its worked out.  I could go on and on, but to sum it up in a sentence, the rights to freedom in America has made it productive, progressive and powerful, to say in a word... great.
Of course there is a point where the idea encounters impedances.  Say what you want about partisanship or the taboo degradation (as opposed to moral degradation, taboo degradation is the degrading of things society deems taboo, like sexuality, drugs and rock n roll), but that's not what I am talking about here, and personally I don't think that's the problem; I could say that its merely the fruit of the problem I am talking about.  The real problem with America[ns] that I see is ignorant desire for the status quo and greed.

These two play off of each other, we want the status quo because we know how to work it to our financial advantage and we're greedy so we fight for the status quo.  This happens in industry, politics, education, labor unions, etc.  Prime example: the steel industry in the United States.  They were on top of the steel industry world thanks to Henry Bessemer and Andrew Carnegie, anti-trust evasion and World War 2, but then the world caught up.  New technologies came in to play, but for whatever reason the industry didn't jump on them like the rest of the world did and they began to lose global market share.  The steel labor unions kept striking and asking for more money, which was great for them, but only at first not for the industry at all, as now the overhead increased which served only to work for the competition.  The same thing was and probably still is at work in the auto industry; I can see it at work on Wall Street and I can see it working in teacher's unions, congress and the population at large.  Point being, we like the status quo, because we can make it work for us.

I don't know what it is about rocking the boat, but what works is rocking the boat and making changes (now I feel like I sound like Obama, but I'm a maverick!), that's the whole reason the government is set up the way it is, and the way the Constitution was written.  It was made so that it could change, warp and bend, congress is bicameral, goes through elections every 2 years and is subject to Presidential veto. The idea of amendments was to allow for further change, for instance the electoral college and the way Vice Presidents are elected.  With such a historical precedence as that I find it interesting that I see less change, or at least what I perceive.
I'm sure people have probably felt this way in the past, but it seems like the only seemingly Pax Americana was the 90s and maybe the 50s and the 20s.  Of course I find it interesting that both of those times eventually gave way to a sort of fall, the 60s for the 50s and the Depression for the 20s and this occured for various reasons, but I wonder if it was for similar reasons that I am speaking of here?  The status quo was definitely rocked in the 60s and it was definitely rocked in the 30s and both times I would say that it could have been prevented and I think the comfort of the status quo and the ability to work it for one's advantage probably played a role in why the boat wasn't rocked.  We need to rock the boat.  Either I'm really pessimistic, or prophetic, but I am led to believe that if we don't rock the boat in some places then it will be rocked for us.