Explosive messages

Extremism is quite ridiculous, and according to the news, quite prevalent.

It is especially active in Iraq and Afghanistan where soldiers are stationed fighting terrorism and promoting democracy; unfortunately this leads to us seeing extremism as being promoted by only by Muslims.

This of course isn't true, I remember Eric Rudolph's bombing of Olympic Park bombing in 1996 not to mention his other bombings around Atlanta in the mid-90s.  His religion was that of Christianity.  There are numerous other groups that claim Christianity as their religion and are extremists as well.  Political groups can be extremists as well.  The Nazis, Stalin's communism, Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge were all extreme, of course they aren't called extremists, they are guilty of genocide interestingly enough.

But when you think about it, what really drives anyone to be so extreme?  I don't think they are motivated so much by hate as they are by fear.  And they fear that this other ideology is not simply against them but against the humanity that they care about.  I know it sounds ridiculous.  Consider Hitler, I would say that he hated the Jews not because they were Jews but because he loved Germany.  Thus, to ensure the success of Germany he had to to away with the "Marxist Jews".  I'll admit that this is extremely simplistic and a reading of Mein Kampf might help.  It almost seems legitimate... almost.  

I mean there is no justification for what Hitler did, or anyone who commits extreme acts of violence.  But I can understand at least what drives them to it.  Fear.  Its like a last ditch effort, you see a high probability of failure, of destruction and somehow you need to find a way to fix it and then you find a scapegoat.  The only course of action then is to take care of the problem, by blowing up Americans or abortion clinics or systematically killing a people group.  To be honest, I find myself falling into these fears at times.  Fears of psychological and eating disorders fueled by fashion models, fear of extremists Christians groups ruining the message of Christ, fears of corporations and government ruining the environment, fears of Obama ruining the nation... OK, so not really the last one, perhaps a fear of Glenn Beck ruining the nation...? 

At any rate, I would say that they are substantial fears that, if realized, have far reaching implications.  But what can I do?  I mean, I feasibly can't change the corporate world of fashion or industry, I can't feasibly change the way politics are done, I can't feasibly change the crazy ideas of Christian extremists.   What can I do?  What course of action could I take that could change anything?  The extremist idea would be to blow something up to send a message, and as an individual I could do that, and if there is enough planning you not only blow something up, but you do it big, like the Twin Towers, that sends a big message, or you do it intelligently that shuts down the function of something, like in Fight Club.  I can easily see how fear could lead someone(s) to think in such a way, it is very simple (illogical) logic.

I am very thankful though that my fears are allayed by my faith in Christ.  I don't have to commit extreme acts to ensure a place in an other worldly paradise, nor do I have to do so to make this place a paradise.  Because this place will become paradise, whether I do anything to further that or not.  I could actually play a part in destroying the world and it would become paradise, of course it would be a miserable existence until then, but it would become it nonetheless.  This is the glory of the New Jerusalem being here on this 3rd planet from the Sun, and the glory that it is the risen Christ that will be the one who brings it.  There is no need for me to exercise vengeance or justice either.  I don't need to be the one that blows up those whom I think are committing acts of injustice or destruction, because it is the risen Christ that does that also.  Thus, when I experience fear, I am not filled with hopelessness that drives extremism, I am filled with hope.

I hope that the work Christ began, he is finishing. 

until a later time.

So I have no idea if I am going to post at all this week like I was planning on.... I doubt it honestly.  I figured that I had a lot of free time ahead of me this week to both write up some more thoughts and read, but I don't know if its because I'm lazy or because I haven't had the time that I thought I was going to have.  I'm thinking its mostly because I'm lazy, hahaha.  Of course I've also been pretty busy.  Monday I feel like me and Alison, errr Alison and I, ran around a bunch doing a lot of petty errands and tasks; then Tuesday we did the same thing again, only this time it was my petty errands and tasks we were taking care of.

Good news though!  I got an 89 on my Old Testament test, which is great! I was definitely surprised by the grade, I thought it was going to be around a low B, but it wasn't!  I also got an A on a paper for my pastoral care class!  On the whole I ended up with a 3.75 GPA for the semester, which I was surprised by, I really didn't expect it; I was hoping for a 3.5 but I guess I'll settle for more....  My worst grade came in the class that was more writing intensive... go figure, I have my dad's amazing writing ability (I think only my dad and mom are going to get the sarcasm in that one).  I also think I could have gotten a better grade in the class had I gotten a better grade on the last paper, but I don't think 3 pages was enough to write all that I wanted and all that I should have written, at least according to the comments on the paper. it would at least have needed to have been a 5/6 page paper, and a clearer prompt; I just thought it was a simple paper on my own thoughts, not a paper in which I had to write for it but argue against possible ideas against it.
But that's neither here nor there.  I'll keep on keeping on striving for A's and not settling for less, which should be a blast!

It tastes so good, but it smells so bad.

I consider myself an evangelical, and I'm dang proud of it!
Then again, I'm not so proud of it.
I have a love hate relationship with evangelicalism, much like I have a love hate relationship with most things I love/hate... Methodism, the Bulldogs, the Falcons, technology, nature (I love nature out there, I don't love nature when it comes to a yard), etc.

The thing I love about evangelicalism is that its vibrant, in my experience evangelicalism gets it; it gets what life abundantly in Christ is like.  Its not staid or lame Christianity, it inspires life in a way that I didn't get from tradition or ritual.  I love how it one of its doctrines is that all knowledge is measured by Scripture; I love that it sees its purpose is to spread the gospel, not only by evangelism, but by mission work as well.   It doesn't mind going against the grain on somethings that it perceives are wrong.

There are somethings that I don't like, let Evolution and the Big Bang be an example.  Evolution and Big Bang theories are divisive, not because of the science, but because of the application.  It has been applied by many to disprove God, or at the very least used to promote a degree of doubt and ask hard questions.  However, the science itself is neutral; well, at least I see it this way.  Most of evangelicalism, at least the conservative voices that seem to speak louder than the rest, see the science as the problem and the solution is to promote Creationism.
I can't blame them for wanting to counter the evolutionists; I want to as well, but I think that they're going about it in all the wrong way.  The way to do it is to redeem the applications of the science, not deny it the science itself.  Even if they want to deny it, they need to counter it and point out holes in the research; they then need to promote other research that they can prove is reliable, because you know its going to have a bunch of evolutionists trying to poke holes in it.  Unfortunately, I have not seen either of these things done.  All  I am given are unfounded hypotheses that attempt to counter evolution because its "illogical" outcomes or that its wrong because "that's not what the Bible says."  Well, fantastic, but the Bible can be made to say a lot of things! But I have also not seen a good counter to an allegorical interpretation of the creation account; no, the only good responses are those against reinterpretations of the length of it being longer than 6 days of 24 hours each.

Regardless, all I am saying is that the pendulum of scientific understanding swung away from the traditional Christian interpretation and understanding of the universe's origins and instead of reassessing the interpretation and understanding to see if this new scientific model could in fact be more correct, they deny that there is any science that is worth countering and call all of its adherents heretics.  Reminds me of a certain Catholic Church's dealing with Galileo.

It's frustrating for me because I see how it marginalizes others and makes Christianity, much less faith in Christ, unappealing to them, as well as seemingly unattainable.  It's frustrating to experience because I am made to feel guilty and told my belief system is unbiblical Christianity.  Somehow I just don't think Jesus would have done this...  I could go on about why I think it happens this way, but personally I'm tired of typing, haha!  And I'm pretty sure it'd be a moo[t] point; you know a cow's opinion (name the reference!).

That is, of course, unless I'm begged to do so.
Oh and some other things I don't like: the evangelical love for the Republican party or Tea Party, the lack of ascetic practices, the desire to do away with tradition, and others that I could think of I'm sure.
I love evangelical Christianity, it helped me taste and see the goodness of God, but sometimes it just smells so bad...

turn it inside out

Christmas is awesome.
I love Christmas.  I love Christmas music, and I love Christmas cheer, and "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear"- Elf.

I also love Christmas for the fact of little baby Jesus.  Yes, he is our savior and that is way totally awesome, but it is so much deeper than that.  It's ridiculous when you actually think about Christmas, like what went on.  It's not just that Jesus was born, but it's that Jesus was born... am I confusing you?
Let me put it like this, Jesus, Son of God and God incarnate, was born as a human.  That is impressive, and I think some get it, but many people don't get it.  Pithy phrases like "Jesus is the reason for the season" just don't capture it.   Most have this idea of Jesus being born in a barn to ultimately die for the redemption of humanity and this other idea of Jesus being one with the Father, and they never put two and two together.


This one thing has really been sticking out more and more to me lately, the sheer contradiction of Jesus a human and God a not-human.  When God comes into this world as Jesus, God essentially became not-God.  Think of it, God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, holy and glorious.  Jesus is finite in everyone of those areas, he had finite power, finite knowledge, finite presence, was born and raised not by a priestly family of affluence, but by an poorer carpenter family - there's is nothing holy and glorious about that.  The climax of the life of Jesus is even more ridiculous, he becomes sin; there is nothing more opposite of God than that.  God came to earth as Jesus to essentially not be himself, not just be not himself, but the polar opposite.

This is not to say that Jesus couldn't have been more like a deity.  Jesus most definitely had the capabilities, but Phil. 2:6 puts it like this "though being in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped."  INCREDIBLE!  Think of what Jesus could have been, but what Jesus was.  He could have called on the angels to rescue him, but he didn't.  He could have.... done well pretty much anything to make him more glorious, and yet he didn't.  He remained a humble servant of not only God, but of humanity... the most high God became the most humble of creatures, and not only that but served them and is the sacrifice for them as well.

I just think its incredible that God turned himself inside out for us.  He not only bent over backwards, but became not-God, he became opposite his nature and character just to rescue us.  Why?  It'd be like me becoming last so that I may be first, or leaving 99 sheep to find one.  It is illogical and stupid, and yet its what God has done.  God went off and got illogical; he became the very opposite of everything he was to open the gates of the kingdom for sinners like me.

half of my heart

No I'm not thinking of the John Mayer song, but I do like it.  And if you're like me once you get a thought of something in your head you just have to get that taken care of.  So here, enjoy Half of My Heart by John Mayer:





I was praying through Jeremiah 29:11-14 and this idea of only seeking God with half of my heart hit me hard.  Most often when you look into this passage, only verse 11 sticks out, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." When I first started praying through it, that was what hit me too, but then I verse 13 really started sticking out to me, "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart."  


The word translated as heart in the original Hebrew is lebab; it means something far more than what we mean when we speak of heart.  Heart to us is a strong feeling of emotion, some might call it soul, but it does not connote much more than strong feelings and desires.  "I give you my heart," is an example where we are giving all of our emotions and feelings to someone.   Lebab on the other hand is far more than that; it is more along the lines of whole being, heart, soul, emotions, thoughts, mind, etc.  Everything that someone is is their lebab.  


Luckily, I knew this fact going in and it really opened my eyes.  I often speak of the pride I find in my knowledge, and it yet again rears its ugly head here.  I am only throwing half of my heart in my quest for God more often than not.  I find that when I seek, it is mostly a thought processes: a question of why or how something is, concluding in understanding.  Rarely is it a emotive or physical process, and when it is those, rarely is it ever holistic, it's always either/or.  This enlightenment frustrates me.  One of my greatest strengths is even more so one of my greatest faults.
This does have a silver lining though; in seminary, I am at a place where thinking takes a high priority, and so when I am wanting to meet God I simply don't want to do a study or think more.  I am already exhausted of thinking.  What I find myself wanting to do is rest and enjoy - a very physical and emotional thing I have found.  And thankfully my prayer life in this and for this is being blessed.


I wonder though if this is something that will stick with me or if I will default back to my faulty asset.  This is a fear of mine I admit.  I do not want to keep seeking God with half of my heart, because I simply will not fully find him.  I want to seek God with everything so that I can truly enjoy everything of him.  There is a delight that I am finding right now in seeking God with more than my mind through some sort of Scripture study.  This is something that I want to maintain, and whereas I have my fears I also know that God is faithful.

Why I do what I'm doing

I don't think I have ever fully expressed why I write things on here.
There are two reasons really, the first one is the secondary reason, and the second is the primary reason.  So I'll start with the secondary first.  I write because I think.  I am one of those guys that gets a thought and it simply stays in my head until it gets out somehow.  Well this blog is this somehow.  My head will seriously explode, I think and I dwell and think some more.  Its why some posts will have another post dealing with further thoughts. You think that after 25 years I'd be able to help, but unfortunately it's only gotten worse.  Seminary hasn't helped either, actually its only made me think more.  I am glad I started this at the beginning of the semester because I have seriously needed it.
Secondly, the primary reason I do this is so people whom I don't see or talk to everyday anymore can still hear my experiences.  One of the frustrating things that I have experienced having moved form Greensboro is that I no longer have those friends to constantly talk to about stuff that I am pondering.  Whether or not they enjoyed it... well I'll just assume they did, and I hope they are able to enjoy this as well.  This allows them to still hear me and be involved with me I guess.  At least this is my hope.
Perhaps what I really want is just a place to put my thoughts down and hope that this place is the same place that old friends still converse with me about ideas.....

And I suppose the most minor of third reasons... maybe someone important will read something and the world will be changed!!!!!
But lets not get ahead of ourselves....